Philip Brooks released their new song “everything is changing now” today. A few days ago I had a Zoom call with them, to talk about the song, their coming out as non-binary and how corona changed their way of producing music. Enjoy!
Hello Philip! First of all, thank you for making time for this! How are you feeling today?
Philip: Thank you for having me! I’m good, I’m having quite a good day. I’ve been having a few weird days, it’s been super cold and my heating is not great, so I’ve been kind of avoiding walking around and just spent time on my couch. I started watching “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (laughs). And that just kind of consumed all my time. Between episodes I did some stuff on my laptop for the release and all the boring things (laughs).
Your fourth single “everything is changing” will be released this Friday, are you nervous or maybe also excited?
Philip: Normally I’m equally nervous and excited, but this time I’m just fully excited, because the song already did its job for me personally, in just writing it and having it as a finished product on my hard drive. So I’m kind of not caring if anyone listens to it, because I think it’s great (laughs). But also I’m just really excited for people to hear it, because I think it sounds quite different and it feels quite different from the stuff before. I‘ve had some experiments with more synth pop kind of music online, songs that are long offline now. But genuinely it’s just purely excited, because it‘s equally about the song and about the entire fact that I‘m even just releasing this song with the feeling around it and having it be so me.
Do you feel like the current situation is somehow influencing the way you’re writing and producing music?
Philip: Not really, because I always did everything in my room, with just the equipment that I have, so about the actual process of that nothing really has changed. But I used to do in person writing sessions and production sessions with people and I shifted that towards trying to do them over FaceTime or Zoom. This song was written together with a songwriter called Julianna Joy and we didn’t really do it over Zoom, we just sent voicemails back and forth and figured out all the verses and that stuff. I don’t think I would’ve been comfortable with sharing my ideas like this before, I would’ve been more protective. But now that I already did lots of writing sessions for other people, I think I’m more comfortable with opening up the process to the internet people (laughs) and know for a fact, that that actually works for me.
Is your latest song always your favorite one, or do you have an all time favorite song in your repertoire?
Philip: This time the latest song is my favorite! It‘s usually always the latest song that I’ve written and the last songs I released are usually like two years old by the time they where released. The original demo of „i‘m so in love with all of my friends“ is from early 2017 and I finished it sometime this year. So with that song it wasn’t like this, when I released it. I like it, but the excitement I have, when I just finished something and knowing that it’ll be out very soon is unmatched (laughs). It gives you insane rushes of all kinds of feelings and then you can immediately project them into the release. That combination of knowing that the song will be out so soon and the excitement that comes with just having written a very good song, are what is making it my favorite one right now. I think the last time I had this feeling was with „spend some time alone inside my head“, because that was released super shortly after it was written and we played it live like three times between writing it and releasing it, which was a next level excitement booster. So I think besides my new song, it‘s „spend some time alone inside my head!
In your upcoming single you deal with topics like self-discovery and change. How did you realize you’re going through a change over the past months?
Philip: I‘ve moved like three times in the span of three months (laughs), which was quite wild. But also the triggering moment for this was, that I liked someone a lot for a longer time. There was this week, when I was writing with a friend, we were doing a few songs together, and then the person that I liked called me and informed me that we should rather be friends. That immediately flipped my entire brain around, it‘s hard to explain that properly. I was mainly in Germany for that person, so I was like „ok cool, so I‘m just gonna go back to England now“, so I booked flights and called my manager like „Hey, I‘m gonna stay at your flat soon, to look for flats. Surprise!“. You know, when you like someone, they are almost like a fictional character in your head? And you‘re living in this fictional world and suddenly that world is nonexistent anymore. That immediately felt like a change, although realistically nothing has changed. Then I had decided to move back and because of the new lockdown I had to move even sooner, than I had planned. After that the entire non-binary thing kinda crushed into all this chaos and created more chaos. That just hit me on accident and I don’t know where it came from, I don’t even remember when I had the realization. I’m so sorry, I‘m drifting away from your question (laughs).
Oh no, that’s totally fine! What would you say is different between yourself now and yourself one year ago?
Philip: Oh Dear, the entire self (laughs). I think the main thing, that I see, is an increased assertiveness with the people that I work with. I‘m way more sure of me, because earlier, like a year ago, I knew that there was something going on with the way I perceived myself and the way I actually am, but I was scared to discover that. So I accidentally fell into a state of having myself pushed around by the people around me and the people that I work with and also the people I don’t even work with, just opinions people in the industry had about my music. But now I know what I want to do and what I want my music to be like and how I am and how I want to present myself. I don’t want to say those opinions don’t matter to me anymore, I mean when someone says a mean thing, that still hurts, but I don’t take it so personally. I don’t absorb it into my persona, that I created to avoid facing my actual self. Now I can just project my actual self into the entire project, which I felt I couldn’t really do before.
Is music something that helped you going through this? What artists or songs did help you or impact you the most?
Philip: Music definitely helped a lot, I’m always listening to music and if I don’t have anything playing, I just completely dissolve (laughs). The main main main person and thing is Amber from “The Japanese House” coming out as non-binary, because they where someone I looked up to for years. I saw them live for the first time in 2015 and since then I saw them live like 14 times I think (laughs). That’s my main inspiration, for going into music, because “the Japanese House” always sound new and fresh, it’s about trying lots of new sounds. So I always looked up to the musical side of the project and now the person that I looked up to also comes out as non-binary. A week before that I came to the full realization and I think if Amber didn’t come out so immediately after I realized that I’m non binary, I would never ever have been brave enough to come out just a few days later. Otherwise just musically and generally, I like Christina and the Queens, Chris is generally a great performer and I always loved that. But since the entire crisis of me, I started to realize how amazingly herself she is and how unapologetically herself she is. I absorbed that into my personality and when I need that artistic bravery, I kind of summon her spirit into me, which was really helpful with this song.
We already just kind of talked about it, but “everything is changing now“ is the first song you are releasing, or at least wrote, after you came out as non-binary. How did it feel, to get that off of your chest and how did it impact your songwriting?
Philip: It definitely felt amazing! It’s very hard to describe how it feels, because it is very unlike every experience I ever had in my life, because it’s not something, that you experience twice. It just felt very freeing and essentially nothing has changed with me, except for the fact, that people now know this fact about me, I haven’t changed, I have always been that person. Most of the people luckily don’t look at me in any other way. But subconsciously it felt like I don’t have to wear a mask anymore, which I never intentionally did, it just was there and I didn’t know how to get rid of it. I used to avoid singing in my high voice, because I thought it was too feminine and “I can’t do that”. But why can I not? Of course I can! That was an intentional thing, to sing in that voice in this song, as many times as possible, just because I now can and I now allow myself. I think the entire coming out didn’t influence it too much, but the sense of self, that it triggered, which enabled me to do whatever I wanted. That song is the product of that.
When did you decide, that you want to pursue a career in music?
Philip: Multiple times (laughs), I got scared a few times. I always wanted to do something performery, because that is something that I always liked. Which is strange, because I always was the shy and awkward kid and I avoided having any attention on me. Whatsoever, I don’t know how that aligned and it still doesn’t really align, which is a problem sometimes (laughs). But the time I fully decided, that it’s what I’m gonna do, was when “honey, let’s just drive” started getting plays on Spotify, which I still don’t understand why that happened, because that was very out of nowhere. But I was on a road trip and I haven’t checked any social media things for a second and then at some point we where stopping at some supermarket in France and I saw lots of nice messages of people connecting to the message of the song. I haven’t ever had that before. Before I never had decided to do that music thing, it was just from a very self centered point of “I want to share my music and I’m gonna do this for me”, but then suddenly there was this entire aspect of people telling me that they relate to the music and that that helps them in some way. As soon as the community aspect of it came along, it felt 20 times more special and then I just did not want to stop ever and I still do not want to stop.
Your last live show took place almost a year ago.
Philip: Is it a year on Friday?
Yes! That’s what I wanted to say, it’s exactly on the same day when you’re going to release your single, when you played your last live show. Do you miss playing live and do you have any live plans for 2021?
Philip: (sighs) No live plans, sadly. I do miss it so much. Especially the new song, because I have a second music software project on my computer, that is already the live version of that song, completely planned out. With drums and my band and all that kinds of stuff, I can hear it in my head and I can see us play it. It hurts that I can’t do it any time soon. There is something in next may, that I cannot say, that we would like to play, there is a musical event that hosts multiple people (laughs). But may just sounds a bit ambitious in Corona times, it’s depending on how the vaccine goes. There are no set plans, lets just leave it with that (laughs).
How are your plans on new music and do you plan to put out an EP or maybe even an album soon?
Philip: There is another thing, that is finished and ready for early next year, that involves a friend. That’s all I can say for now! After that I’m just trying to let stuff come to me, I’m trying to write everyday in different forms. “everything is changing” was just finished and we wanted to have it out this year, so we immediately went into release mode. That’s why I didn’t really have time to write more. So there is no set plans, but there is still something.
My last question is, if you could only listen to three songs for the rest of the year, which songs would it be?
Philip: “Mountains” by Christina and the Queens, “Something on Your Mind” by Karen Dalton and “Shark Smile” by Big Thief!
Thank you so much for doing this so spontaneously! I wish you good luck with your release, I personally love the song!
Philip: Thank you so much for having me!